honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize