Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
