All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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