its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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