Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
