Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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