Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
