Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Randomize
