do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
