5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
