I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
