walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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