I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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