the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
