Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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