margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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