The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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