I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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