How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
