I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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