love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
