he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I think my moral compass just broke
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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