i barfeds in our rink
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
