i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
