yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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