I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You're so nebulous sometimes
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
