Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
