Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
