do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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