My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
