Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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