that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
