Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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