Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
