ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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