So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
