when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
