i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
