I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Randomize
