Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
