did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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