Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Found your dick twin last night
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
