I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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