i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
