you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
