Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
