I wannas sexs uuuuu
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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