She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
