we have officially lost it.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
