Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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