Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
