i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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