he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
