Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
