i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
