I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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