Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
