I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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