I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize