We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
