can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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