so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
