my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
